Why I left a Christian dating site - by Colin Lyne.
20/02/2012

Why I left a Christian dating site

 By Colin Lyne

  •  This article by our friend Colin, a 58 year old bachelor and committed Christian, shows that just because an organization has “Christian” in its title doesn’t necessarily mean its users believe the whole truth of the Bible. Colin discovered that many who logged in to a dating site for believers didn’t fully accept the word of God, for example, in areas like homosexuality where God’s commands are unmistakable. Here’s Colin’s story: AF

 In  March  2009  I  joined a  dating  site,  which advertised  itself  as a site run by Christians in order to  put Christians  in  touch with  each  other. I  was a  bit  surprised  by  their statement  of faith, as  it  defined  a  Christian  as  being  someone  who  believed  in  the  Trinity.

 The  Bible  teaches that  it  is  someone  who  is  saved  by the  grace  of  God  through faith ( Eph  2  v  8  to  10 ) and  the  content  of  that  faith  is  that  Jesus  died  for  our  sins  and  rose  from  the  dead ( 1  Cor  15  v  1  to  4) .  (The statement of faith is no longer on that website.)

I  started  emailing  some  ladies,  but  was  surprised  that  a  number  never  replied. I  had  thought  that  since  they  claimed  to  be Christians  they  would  all  reply,  but  I  later  learned  that  it was  the exception  rather  than  the  rule  to  receive  a  reply.

 A  few answered,  but  it  took  11  attempts  to  find  a  lady  who regularly  replied. She seemed nice, so  we  arranged  to  meet. However,  when we  did  I  found  that  she  weighed  about  35  lbs  more  than  I  expected  and  wore  a  dress  that  showed  most  of  her  bust. I  did have some  other  dates,  though  most  involved a long journey  and  I  didn’t  meet  the  type  of  Godly woman I was looking for.

The  ‘boards’ (discussion blogs),  however,  were  for  me  the  most  disturbing  factor of the website. One lady used  them  to  attack Israel  with  great  venom.  Everything was Israel’s fault,  and  the  Arabs  were  perfect  innocents. I  told  her  that  she  should  love  all  people  and that  if  she  couldn’t  love  the  Jews,  she  should  talk  to  her church leaders  and ask  them  to  pray  for her. 

Some of the staff at  the website  told  me  off  for  this.  They felt that her remarks were fine,  but  my  remarks were wrong. Later  on  the  boards people  discussed  such  subjects  as - is it all right for  Christians  to  sleep  together  on  the first  date?  Or- were  oral  and  anal  sex  OK  for  Christians? Many thought these things were acceptable.

Jude  teaches that we  should  contend  for  the faith, so  I  often  challenged  people  with  non-biblical  views.  A  number  of  members  emailed  me,  thanking  me  for  my  posts  and  asking  me questions  about  the  Bible. 

In my view, some of the website staff  who  preached  religious  tolerance  started  showing  that there was  one  type  of  person they  did  not want  to  tolerate:  the  Christian  who  insisted that the  Bible  was  the  Word  of  God. 

Recently,  a  woman  posted an item about  "Christian  homosexuality,"  as  she  said  she  had  friends  like  that. I  pointed  out  that  "Christian  homosexuality"  was  an  oxymoron (contradiction) and  that 1  Cor 6  v  9  and  10[1] shows  that  a  person who  does these  things  will  not  enter  the  kingdom  of  God.  Other  passages  in the  New  Testament  back this  up  while  the  Old  Testament  also strongly  teaches  against  it. For  instance  in Lev  20  v  13  God  told  Israel  that  if  two  men  laid  with  each  other,  it was  an  abomination,  and  that  both  should  be  put  to  death.  Rev  21  v  8  teaches  that  the  abominable will  enter  the  lake  of  fire.

I  am  not  claiming  that  we  should  kill  homosexuals  today,  as  we  do  not  live  under  the  Mosaic  Covenant as  Israel  did.  We  live  under  the  New  Covenant; however,  we  do see  how  God  views this  practice. It  is  backed  up  by  other  passages  such  as Deut  23  v  17  and  18[2], Rom  1  v  26[3]  to  28 and  v  31  and  32, where  it  is  called  ‘unnatural’  and   ‘of  a  reprobate  mind.’

To  my  surprise the  majority  of  people  on  the  boards  agreed  with  me. God made  Adam  and  Eve,  not  Adam  and  Steve! However, some got angry  and  reported  me to  the staff.   Some staff took sides  against  those who  stood  up  for  Bible  truth.  They called  me  “unloving” and  “a  homophobic.” I  responded  by  saying  that  it  is  more  loving  to  warn  people  about  the  dangers  of  where  their sin  is  taking  them  than  to let  them  go  there. 

As  for  “homophobic”,  well  it  was  God who  inspired  the  Bible,  not  me.  Are we  going to  accuse  Him  of  such things? A  homophobic  hates  homosexuals.  God loves them and so do I.  However,  we  don’t  love  the  sin  of  homosexuality,  which  is  so strongly  condemned  in  the Bible.  True  Christians  repent  of  such  things  and  produce  fruit to  show  they  are saved, as in Matt  7  v  17  to  20.[4]

Only two good things happened.  Firstly, I met  a  lady with whom I  gelled   on  the boards.  She  came  off  the site  after one  month,  as  she said many  men  made  improper  suggestions  to  her.  We  see each other  every  couple  of  months at  Christian meetings  in  Marlow  and  we  regularly  email,  upholding  one  another  in  prayer.  We are not  dating. Secondly, it brought  home  to me  the great value of my  church,  Tongham  Christian  Fellowship,  full  of  loving  Christians  who  uphold  the  truth  of  the  Bible  as  the  Word  of  God.

The dating website preaches religious  tolerance,  but in my opinion they  seem to  prefer  liberals  to  Bible-believing-Christians. We  have  now  parted  company and  I am  glad, as  I  can  do  without  the  hassle!

(Scroll down for Scripture footnotes.)


[1] ‘Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit thekingdom ofGod?  Be not deceived:  neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom ofGod.’

 

[2] ‘There shall be no whore among the daughters ofIsrael, nor a sodomite among the sons ofIsrael.  Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore or the price of a dog (homosexual) into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are an abomination unto the LORD thy God.’

[3]  ‘For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature.  And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense for their error which was meet (just).  And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind…’ Romans 1:26-28

[4] ‘Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.’ Matthew 7:17

 

 


 
 
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