Why I left a Christian dating site
By Colin Lyne
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This article by our friend Colin, a 58 year old bachelor and committed Christian, shows that just because an organization has “Christian” in its title doesn’t necessarily mean its users believe the whole truth of the Bible. Colin discovered that many who logged in to a dating site for believers didn’t fully accept the word of God, for example, in areas like homosexuality where God’s commands are unmistakable. Here’s Colin’s story: AF
In March 2009 I joined a dating site, which advertised itself as a site run by Christians in order to put Christians in touch with each other. I was a bit surprised by their statement of faith, as it defined a Christian as being someone who believed in the Trinity.
The Bible teaches that it is someone who is saved by the grace of God through faith ( Eph 2 v 8 to 10 ) and the content of that faith is that Jesus died for our sins and rose from the dead ( 1 Cor 15 v 1 to 4) . (The statement of faith is no longer on that website.)
I started emailing some ladies, but was surprised that a number never replied. I had thought that since they claimed to be Christians they would all reply, but I later learned that it was the exception rather than the rule to receive a reply.
A few answered, but it took 11 attempts to find a lady who regularly replied. She seemed nice, so we arranged to meet. However, when we did I found that she weighed about 35 lbs more than I expected and wore a dress that showed most of her bust. I did have some other dates, though most involved a long journey and I didn’t meet the type of Godly woman I was looking for.
The ‘boards’ (discussion blogs), however, were for me the most disturbing factor of the website. One lady used them to attack Israel with great venom. Everything was Israel’s fault, and the Arabs were perfect innocents. I told her that she should love all people and that if she couldn’t love the Jews, she should talk to her church leaders and ask them to pray for her.
Some of the staff at the website told me off for this. They felt that her remarks were fine, but my remarks were wrong. Later on the boards people discussed such subjects as - is it all right for Christians to sleep together on the first date? Or- were oral and anal sex OK for Christians? Many thought these things were acceptable.
Jude teaches that we should contend for the faith, so I often challenged people with non-biblical views. A number of members emailed me, thanking me for my posts and asking me questions about the Bible.
In my view, some of the website staff who preached religious tolerance started showing that there was one type of person they did not want to tolerate: the Christian who insisted that the Bible was the Word of God.
Recently, a woman posted an item about "Christian homosexuality," as she said she had friends like that. I pointed out that "Christian homosexuality" was an oxymoron (contradiction) and that 1 Cor 6 v 9 and 10[1] shows that a person who does these things will not enter the kingdom of God. Other passages in the New Testament back this up while the Old Testament also strongly teaches against it. For instance in Lev 20 v 13 God told Israel that if two men laid with each other, it was an abomination, and that both should be put to death. Rev 21 v 8 teaches that the abominable will enter the lake of fire.
I am not claiming that we should kill homosexuals today, as we do not live under the Mosaic Covenant as Israel did. We live under the New Covenant; however, we do see how God views this practice. It is backed up by other passages such as Deut 23 v 17 and 18[2], Rom 1 v 26[3] to 28 and v 31 and 32, where it is called ‘unnatural’ and ‘of a reprobate mind.’
To my surprise the majority of people on the boards agreed with me. God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve! However, some got angry and reported me to the staff. Some staff took sides against those who stood up for Bible truth. They called me “unloving” and “a homophobic.” I responded by saying that it is more loving to warn people about the dangers of where their sin is taking them than to let them go there.
As for “homophobic”, well it was God who inspired the Bible, not me. Are we going to accuse Him of such things? A homophobic hates homosexuals. God loves them and so do I. However, we don’t love the sin of homosexuality, which is so strongly condemned in the Bible. True Christians repent of such things and produce fruit to show they are saved, as in Matt 7 v 17 to 20.[4]
Only two good things happened. Firstly, I met a lady with whom I gelled on the boards. She came off the site after one month, as she said many men made improper suggestions to her. We see each other every couple of months at Christian meetings in Marlow and we regularly email, upholding one another in prayer. We are not dating. Secondly, it brought home to me the great value of my church, Tongham Christian Fellowship, full of loving Christians who uphold the truth of the Bible as the Word of God.
The dating website preaches religious tolerance, but in my opinion they seem to prefer liberals to Bible-believing-Christians. We have now parted company and I am glad, as I can do without the hassle!
(Scroll down for Scripture footnotes.)
[1] ‘Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit thekingdom ofGod? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom ofGod.’
[2] ‘There shall be no whore among the daughters ofIsrael, nor a sodomite among the sons ofIsrael. Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore or the price of a dog (homosexual) into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are an abomination unto the LORD thy God.’
[3] ‘For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense for their error which was meet (just). And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind…’ Romans 1:26-28
[4] ‘Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.’ Matthew 7:17